Friday, January 2, 2009

People suck

Behold tranquility.
Beautiful isn't it? Pity that at this time of year it is plagued by thousands of jet skis, hire boats, sailboats from hobie cats to schooners, look-how-rich-I-am power boats, wake-boarders, kids swimming & kite-boarders.
It's that time of the year again when assmunchers from Australia wide migrate to my little patch for summer holidays.

For those who came in late, I am a Fish Pig. A fisheries officer. This means I am responsible for enforcing fisheries and maritime safety legislation on a little patch of the Queensland coast.
I really struggle with it at times.

I recognise that our fisheries resources need to be protected by laws, that those laws need to be backed with penalties, and need to be enforced.

I also understand that we have entirely to many preventable catastrophes on the water, thus there needs to be legislation, penalties for non compliance and enforcement.

The other side of the coin is the buttmunchers in head office have little or no idea how things go down at water level. Recently they re-jigged the penalty regimen, promptly followed by the government upping a penalty unit from $75 to $100. This now means that I am supposed to give you a $300 on the spot fine if your crab pot sports a marker float that is smaller than the required 150mm in diameter. Are they high? I'd no more do that then fly backwards 'round the sun. Also many of the people I deal with are on holidays. If they fail to notice a speed limit sign, I take $200 from their holiday fun budget. They recently changed the Australian Standard on what makes a PFD (Lifejacket to you) up to standard. They told no one about this change. Now I am required, instructed, directed to lighten your wallet by $200 if yours are not fully up to spec. I strongly believe that boating & fishing is the most over-regulated recreations - even the sporting shooters don't have this much crap.

So where is this rant going?
I have to sting nice people who are ignorant with the same stick as the powerassholes. I get abused regularly as part of my job, suck it up Bob. One of the best to date was "I bet you were the kind of kid I put in the bin at high school." How does one respond to this professionally?
Then I get the nice people who say "She's right mate, your just doing your job." Take a guess who is easier to book.
I actually got busted providing particularly deserving people with the "Correct Answers" to get them out of a ticket. The brother I work most often with strongly advised me to stop doing this as I would surely end up on the pointy end of a stick before long.

In short between December 1 & Febuary 10 people suck.


  1. Hey NB

    Law Enforcement is always a fine line. I take it your regs do not have discretionary provisions. That is issue a warning instead of a fine.

    I have decide that I am going to get back into some fishing (something that I haven't been able to do for a long time) and have been looking up the changes since the last time I went fishing.

    Things like fish size, bag limits, how much explosives I can use.

    Holiday Season always brings out the idiots and the ignorant.

    This weekend should be interesting. 30-40 knot southerly winds and choppy seas. Was down on the beach late this afternoon and it is as dirty as hell out there. Will keep you and the rescue boys busy.

  2. I'm still confused as to why it's called 'Tourist Season' when you can't shoot any of them.

    It's funny how wankers bitch and moan about you 'being an arsehole' when it's THEIR actions, ignorance, or arrogance that got them into that position.

  3. Bob I admire your varying approaches. I'm gonna head up your way and break the law just so you can rouse on me ;-)

  4. Hey, I didn't know you were a game warden, ok, fisheries officer. The State DNR (Department of Natural Resources) officers aren't real popular in my old neck of the woods.

    It's a hard tack sometimes-but necessary work.

    I know a woman a couple of years younger than me. We went to the same school, and she was smart as a whip. Right after she graduated high school, she was on the river and her boat got hit by a drunk boater. She damn near died-she went through lengthy therapy, and she's been slow mentally ever since. A waste-and a shame.

    So any drunk boaters you can get off the water is a plus-YD authorizes weapons free and deadly force if necessary. I don't mind a beer when out on the water-but there's always that 10% that can't stop at one or two.

    Sorry for the long rant. Look at your work from the perspective of maybe saving someone some misery sometime-and it'll go easier.

  5. Qld needs the cash. Think of it that way, Bob.

  6. NBob, in the end you're doing a job that needs to be done. Too many idiots out there who won't play the game.

    I'll support you right up to the time when you nick me for driving my imaginary gin palace with a blood reading of .1!!!

  7. Nbob, I think you've got the right approach.

  8. I'm one of those buggers who grabs a fishing licence, hires out a tinny for the day and ends up searching the fishing almanac for legal sizes for 'keepers'. I also keep an eye out for the fisheries guy as I don't want my gelignite, harpoon, nets and powerheads to be confiscated. Yaharr!



About Me

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I was the proud recipient of the worlds first monkeys ass to human face transplant. Friends of the donor monkey says it took well, I'm not so sure.